The Daily Telegraph - What a difference a baby makes
July 22, 2014

As the globe-trotting Prince George celebrates his first birthday, Michelle Jana Chan - who has taken already her one-year-old on 50 flights - reflects on the challenges and rewards of travelling en famille.

Look at the curious eyes of the young Prince George, even after a long-haul flight to New Zealand. And he is not exceptional. Like Britain’s youngest emissary, most children seem to thrive on exploring the world. As for the parents, well, that may be a different matter.

When my daughter Mara was a few weeks old, I reluctantly left her behind as I headed off on back-to-back assignments to Marrakesh and Seoul. As a freelance journalist (without maternity leave), I had planned to resume work swiftly. On my third trip -- and after Mara had her first batch of vaccinations -- she came with me. She was six weeks-old. It was a soft destination, the French Caribbean, and a straightforward assignment.

We had a wonderful work-free 24-hour stopover in Paris and I had my first taste of travelling with a baby. We stopped for afternoon tea with macaroons and went shopping for pretty baby clothes. But I also found myself in a Champagne bar by L’Opéra and skipping back to our hotel after dark across Place Vendôme. Mara seemed happy enough nestled in a pouch on my chest like a kangaroo joey.

From Paris, Mara and I flew to St Martin and island-hopped to Guadeloupe, Martinique and St Barths. We took a dozen flights and ferries, and explored each island by hire car. In preparation for interviews, I timed her naps so that she would be asleep in the pouch (I gave a heads-up to interviewees who were almost always supportive, if a little surprised).

I have some untradeable personal memories from that trip: beach strolls together before sunrise; driving around sugar cane plantations in an electric storm; Mara’s first dip at Gouverneur Beach; rocking her to sleep in a hammock. Of course, I also remember the hitches: none of the car seats were small enough so I had to tuck her in with rolled-up clothes; there was lost luggage, of course, and a flooded hotel room. But as with all travel, the challenges became the adventure.

Since then, she and I have criss-crossed the globe with my work, flying the equivalent of four times around the world. In some places I have had the fantastic support of friends, and I have consistently received the indispensable help of strangers, too. City-based assignments have been the most fun and probably the easiest: New York, Hong Kong, Johannesburg, Moscow, Bangkok, Monaco and Doha. There was the long road-trip from London to the Swiss Alps, and back again; an overnight cruise on a rice-barge in Thailand; sub-zero weather in Lapland, and sailing in a regatta off Sardinia.

For most of our journeys, it has been just the two of us but when Mara was 18 months-old, my partner was able to take time off his work and we had a family holiday backpacking through Vietnam.

We started in Hanoi and had no fixed plans nor reservations (except for our flights from Ho Chi Minh City back home to London). It felt intrepid, incredibly romantic and full of possibility. Like we might never return.

Each day, we tried to keep a balance by doing something for Mara and something for ourselves. For example, the first day we explored Hanoi’s old town by foot, and then went to a traditional water puppet show for Mara. We ate on the street, and Mara gobbled up fried rice and spring rolls. After dark, we strolled around Hoan Kiem Lake and made friends with local kids. Mara must have had her photograph taken a hundred times.

We adopted this same laidback rhythm throughout the trip, which I think was the reason it was so easygoing. We all adored the overnight train to the former imperial capital, Hue. Mara loved watching the world trundle past our window; showing our tickets to the conductor; flirting with fellow passengers and sleeping on a bunk.

In Hue, we packed a picnic and wandered around the ancient ruins of the royal palace. Mara played among the fallen stones, chased chickens and sat in the shade of a banyan tree. In Hoi An, we spent an afternoon at An Bang beach before exploring the markets, old merchants’ houses and eateries of this charming port.

In our final destination, Ho Chi Minh City, we visited the city’s excellent museums and wandered around its colonial buildings. Then we headed to the riverside park. There was a toddler, the same size as Mara, sitting on a flattened cardboard box while his mother was a way off trying to sell cold sodas to tourists. As he sat there, crying, Mara joined him and would not let us lead her away until his mother returned.

The most tender moment of the trip was in the War Remnants Museum (documenting the Vietnam War). By the gift shop was a group of severely disabled men making costume jewellery. One had no eyes; another had no arms; another had no limbs at all. Mara, of course, could not understand the sign above their heads, which read: 'Victims of Agent Orange’. She bounded up to them and watched in wonder as they threaded beads with their toes. When the blind man started to play an electric piano, she danced. She cheerfully called out “bye-bye” to her new friends as we headed into the first gallery.

I think the trick to this trip was the go-slow less-is-more pace. We learned that backpacking is an especially fun and immersive way to travel as a family and relatively cheap, too. We stayed in a mix of hostels and airbnb.com apartments that cost an average of £12 a night, which allowed much more exchange with locals. The Vietnamese could not have been more generous hosts and Mara was regularly given gifts, from bottles of water to salty crackers to bunches of lychee. Because I was visibly pregnant with a second baby, there were also endless offers of food for me, and assistance to carry my backpack. I have become keenly aware how children are celebrated in most cultures, as are expectant mothers.

Of course, the trips have not always been plain sailing but neither is life at home in London. I would argue it is easier to be away with Mara, free on the road, than juggling commitments and budgets and pressures back home. Her 50 flights to date may be a testament to that.

Still, the criticism can be hard to hear: “Poor Mara, it is not very fair on her, is it?”; “Tut, tut; exposing her to all those funny diseases just because you want to carry on with your career”; “Children like routine and familiarity, you will have trouble with her later in life”. I confess some lines can touch a raw nerve: “You will kill her desire for travel with all these trips”; “She’ll get sick one of these days and then you will regret it”; “You may be able to do it with one, but not when you have two”.

Many working parents hear sentiments like these and some may turn out to be true. I am not trying to raise a global nomad, only to spend time with Mara while trying to make a living. If she turns out to be a confident traveller, an adventurous eater, aware of the differences in how children are raised, and eager to learn more about the world, that is a bonus. She may of course choose to become a grey-faced desk-bound accountant, as one friend warned me.

After my own experiments and errors during the last 20 months, and after speaking with friends and other parents, I know it is not always obvious how to travel well with little ones (see below for some top tips). The kids will love it; that is for sure. But us, the parents, sometimes forget why we are going away.

Parents of more than one child may scoff at my tale. When I have a second baby this autumn, I promise to address travelling with children in the plural -- and I also promise to be honest if I throw my hands in the air and burn my passport.

Travel tips for parents

The (dreaded) flight

• Endeavour to pack lightly. If you are going to a place without good pavements, leave the pushchair at home. Baby pouches or baby-carrying packs free up hands (allowing you to pull a wheelie bag) and are a much better option (especially when going to the loo!). If you want to take a pushchair, try a lightweight umbrella-style model that folds up easily -- and use a backpack for luggage. Shoulder bags worn across the body are useful for travel documents.

• Request a bulkhead seat and bassinet/baby chair.

• Have bottles of warm milk or favourite drinks ready for take-off and landing when the action of swallowing can relieve pressure build-up in children’s ears.

• Be heartened: most airport security personnel are sympathetic to parents and their liquid caboodle.

• Do not expect to sleep on a long-haul flight; that way you will not be disappointed! If you have only one baby, you sleep (or rest) when the baby sleeps. NO MOVIES! NO MAGAZINES! If you have more than one child, the chance of sleep lessens. Think coffee and patience.

• A day before flying, consider the time zone of the destination. Cut down naps or shift sleep times a little to move into the new zone. Pack kiddie snacks and a spare set of clothes (and a spare shirt for parents in case of spills).

• Do not be weighed down with toys; there is enough entertainment on board (the inflight magazine, the security card; headphones; safety belts; etc).

• Think of a stopover as a break when kids can explore a new environment and watch planes landing. Take advantage of a changing station rather than struggling in the tiny toilets on board. If there is time, have a bite to eat rather than tussling with tray tables.

• Take photographs of key travel information on a smartphone so you are not rifling for flight numbers, etc.

• The sky-nannies service Nanny in the Clouds helps match parents seeking in-flight childcare with babysitters who happen to be on board the same flight. Parents can search for free but pay £6 to access the contact information of a potential sky-nanny. The two parties agree on a rate (£6-£12 an hour).

The “holiday”

Some families choose beach resorts with kids’ clubs but I would argue there are better ways to travel as a family and still achieve a stress-free restorative break. Here are some alternative ideas:

• Hiking trips: there are some excellent child-carrying packs on the market, which means you can do this kind of trip in a similar way as you could before children. Of course, this only works if there is one adult per child.

• Urban escapes: babies can pop in a pouch and be carried around the Louvre for hours (you will probably have less stamina than them). When they are walking, aim for one activity per day that makes you happy, and one activity per day that makes them happy.

• Roadtrips: babies may tolerate long car journeys but toddlers will complain. Choose a route with natural stops every few hours, like the Pacific Coast Highway in California, and time driving to coincide with nap times.

• Backpacking: a great solution for families, which can mix up cities, hiking and beaches. The journeys become part of the travel, too. The best backpacking destinations are in Southeast Asia, like Vietnam, Thailand and Cambodia.

When on the road, observe the habits of local families from where they take their children to what they eat to how they play -- and copy.